Ah, new love. Falling in love is one of the most exciting and beautiful experiences we can have in life. But let’s be real, when we were younger we could just fall in love with anyone we had a great emotional connection with, but we know better now. We know that we need to be pretty picky about who we allow ourselves to fall for so we don’t give multiple years of our lives to someone who isn’t right for us. So before you close your eyes and metaphorically trust fall into the arms of that guy you met a month ago on Bumble, take into consideration the following red flags before putting a day on hold with a wedding photographer.
You’ve Lost Yourself
And not in an “I’ve just lost myself in you” type of way. You’ve lost yourself in a “your friends keep saying you’ve changed” type of way. Maybe it’s because your partner has made critical comments of you that forced you to put your guard up early on. Or maybe it’s just that you never felt like they would accept you for who you truly are with all your flaws. Either way, this is a MAJOR red flag. You shouldn’t sacrifice who you are for anyone, no matter how much you want that gorgeous Hudson valley wedding. It’s not sustainable, and once those butterflies fly away you will have lost everything you were.
You’ve Lost Sight
You've lost sight of your career or the dreams you had before they came along. It takes time to build a business or a career, just as it takes time to build a relationship. Your partner needs to understand and respect the personal goals you have set for yourself, and if they don’t that is an indication they do not respect your individuality. My ex-husband was extremely resentful of my business and it got to a point where I did not feel like I could even speak about it around him. Have a conversation about your professional goals with your partner and find out how encouraging they are. The right person for you will be your biggest cheerleader, not an obstacle in your success.
You Plain Old Just Don’t Feel Happy
Your partner is not responsible for your happiness. You are responsible for your happiness. However! You should look forward to the interactions you have with your partner. They should make you smile when you think about them, and be the person you are excited to share your happy moments with. If you feel a sense of weight or pressure when you think of them, this could be a sign that you should move on.
Your Friends Hate Them
You trust your friends, so why doesn’t their opinion matter now? Our friends usually are looking out for us and want us to be happy, so if they express concern about a person you’re committing time and energy to take it seriously! Friends are able to look at our lives and decisions more objectively than we can, especially when we are wrapped up in all the emotions of a new relationship.
You Are Exhausted by Them
Finding the right person is like waking up refreshed after 8 hours of sleep. Your partner should energize you, they should inspire you and push you forward in your endeavors. If your partner always has something to complain about or just has a generally negative way of going about their life, those qualities can rub off on you. Yes, relationships take work, but it shouldn’t always feel like that.
Always Make Healthy Choices...Vivian